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Jealousy-The Cure!!!

How to cure jealousy.

This post links up to my previous post on “Understanding Jealousy” where I write about the root cause of jealousy as “the feeling of inadequacy” and some of the effects of Jealousy emotions. In today’s post I will focus on how to get rid of the emotions associated with jealousy.

There are many practical things that can help us cure jealousy and also prevent us from falling into the trap. I will share a few and I believe these will be effective for all. Do not worry if you feel no change is happening. Just keep trying as it is a gradual process for some people and that is okay.

Firstly, rejoice with your friends or family members if they achieve something. It doesn’t matter if you also want or need it. Your time will come but for now let us celebrate what is before us. Take an example of Elizabeth, Mary’s cousin. If anything, she could have been jealous but she rejoiced after hearing the news that Mary would bear a son, Jesus who will be in a higher position than her son, John the Baptist. She was filled with great joy that the mother of our Lord would visit her. – Fr. Mwebembezi.

One thing though that stood out to me was the fact that she was filled with the Holy Spirit. We should not undermine the role of the Holy spirit in our lives. Allow it to work in you and you will bear the fruits of the spirit. – Luke 1:39-45

Secondly, guard your heart. If anything, this should have come first but it is such a broad topic and I believe I won’t be able to exhaust it. “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. – Proverbs 4:23” Heart here means our thought life and emotions. The things that motivate us and mould us.

If you know too much consumption of social media is destroying you, reduce the amount of time you spend on it. If it means deleting your accounts go on, do it. Remember you are doing it for you. These things are in your control and they also determine much of what you think. Our thoughts control our attitudes which then influence our actions which will then lead to our achievements. For as he thinks in his heart, so is he – Proverbs 23:7 NKJV.

For sure God has the power to change our thoughts but it’s only possible for God if we let Him. God is a free will God not one of force. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will – Romans 12:2.  I find this verse is so beautiful. Try and present your mind to God so that he may transform you. When He is in your heart, you will think right, live right and do right.

I read a blog by Susan Blackmore at Psychology Today and I found an interesting fact. Basically, we cannot have two thoughts at once. It further stated that, not only are we restricted to attending consciously to only one problem at a time, but we cannot, even unconsciously, be thinking about another. There can be no background processing or clever unconscious thoughts. This I found encouraging because at least you only have to focus on leaving room for pure thoughts. Impure ones cannot then fluke unless we let them.

Lastly, be grateful. Gratitude brings about contentment and it definitely guards against envy. It makes us realize God has given us much more than we deserve. With gratitude you focus on what you’ve got and not what you feel you lack. Practise meditating on the good things that you have achieved and focus on those.

Here’s some encouragement if you’ve got jealous people that have hurt you. You do not have to revenge but you can choose to look at the good. I know it is hard but I do think it is possible. Look at Joseph’s response “Even though you intended to do harm to me, God intended it for good to preserve a numerous people,”– Genesis 50:20. So selfless!

We shouldn’t be discouraged if we continue to see imperfections in our thought life, it is evidence that the Spirit is working in our lives.  Remember the work of character development is not the work of a moment but of a life time. “The Acts of Apostles p.560

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