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JEALOUSY !!!

UNDERSTANDING JEALOUSY.

Anger is cruel and fury overwhelming, but who can stand before Jealousy?

One of the most detrimental emotions is jealousy. For sure, we know jealousy is a human weakness or if at least you didn’t know now you know. I’m not sure I can prove that but, I remember back in primary school during a Religious Education class, I was taught there are six human weaknesses and this included jealousy, lust, greed, pride etcetera. I can’t remember the other two but if you know them please do let me know.

Anyway, the reason I have decided to write about this topic is because it’s been on my heart lately. There’s a lot of shame attached to it and very few resources to support the victims.

Most of the resources that I have found are just bashing the jealous people. Videos titled “10 ways to know your friends are jealous of you,” “Cutting off Jealous and toxic friends.” All these resources do not help because who knows you might be aiming to cut off those toxic friends and yet you are toxic in another friendship group. Now, I’m by no means here to defend jealousy or jealous people but I hope we can support each other even in life’s strenuous situations and this is because God has endowed us differently for His purposes.  Also, let’s not forget we are members of the “body of Christ.” If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honoured, every part rejoices with it. –  1 Corinthians 12

Right! Let’s get into the discussion. So, what is Jealousy? This green-eyed monster which doth mock the meat it feeds on – Iago, Othello.

Jealousy is feelings or thoughts from insecurity, fear or even concern that arise from a relative lack of possession. It could consist of one or more emotions such as anger, resentment, disgust, or inadequacy.

Obviously, looking at all those emotions, you can clearly tell that Jealousy is so devastating and the sad truth is that we are all susceptible to it simply because we are human. It can hurt not only personal relationships but also our health physically, mentally and emotionally. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice–James 3:16.

The main focus for this subject is the feeling of Inadequacy which could lead to jealousy in our close circles. It could be friends or family members.

First of all, let us agree that while using the internet, we spend much time looking at other people’s lives on all these different social media platforms. Viewing WhatsApp statuses, Snapchat and Instagram stories and posts. So, for example, on a “good day,” If I have updated my WhatsApp status, I have about 100 views. Some people have way more views others less. Now, let me reverse that. If I look at 100 people’s different life updates, looking at maybe how they are succeeding at something I tried and failed, getting the latest phone that I have always wanted, looking good and glowing and yet however much I try different products, they are not making me glow. What’s going to happen to me? Now obviously my focus is on what they’ve got and not what I have got. These feelings of inadequacy start to pop up in my mind, then I will think about how life is unfair or get a false urge to get something. To be quite honest some of these things we focus on we can do without.

I will now share a personal story. I remember earlier last year, 2020, I was viewing my statuses and when I viewed this specific one, my heart skipped a beat. This was an unusual thing but I didn’t pay much attention to it. After a couple of weeks, we had a discussion on Sabbath that pointed out the jealousy in the study we had done. While reflecting on the study, I noticed that hmmm, I could be jealous of this individual. Deep in thought, I tried to find what the root cause could have been. Surprisingly, I even didn’t want what they had but maybe it could be societal pressure that makes me feel like I should have it. Sorry I haven’t given much detail but I do hope you understand the correlation between societal pressure and the feeling of inadequacy.

Sometimes your friends or relatives could perceive you a certain way and they will start making phrases like “have you seen the latest phone; will you get it?” “I think you’re now ready for marriage.” I think sometimes we should really mind our business hahaa… anyways if you have then been viewing a lot of people’s lives seeing them get the latest gadgets, people posting engagement pictures or even wedding pictures, you then start to feel like you need these things yet in reality you don’t or you are not even ready. And just like that Jealousy hits you.

We are now going to look at Joseph’s story in the bible. Refer to Genesis: 37 & 50 verse 20

Israel, who most of us might know as Jacob, father of Joseph, loved Joseph so much and when his brothers saw this, they hated him. Joseph had all these dreams that revealed he would rule over his brothers. He explained the dreams to his brothers and they hated him more. They became jealous of him and we see trouble as the brothers began to make plans of getting rid of him. They were honestly so determined. They planned to kill him and had plans to erase the evidence. After a number of discussions among his brothers, they decided to sell him and still wanted to use false evidence while bearing the news to their father. This story among others shows how evil Jealousy is. Maybe we haven’t got to the extent of killing others but we need to watch out. Human beings are capable of anything. Joseph’s brothers we so selfish they even didn’t care about their father’s feelings.  Take time and read the whole story as there’s so much we can learn and if anything, you can always share with me anything that spoke to you in the comments, via email or my social media platforms.

Check out my next post where I will be discussing the cure of jealousy. In the post “Jealousy-The Cure!!!” I share tips on how to overcome jealousy emotions.

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